Soul Scribe

Life sometimes takes you down lonely country roads on unexpected side trips. You feel comfortable where you are, or at least somewhat secure – and then you hit the ruts in the dirt road.

This is where I’ve been since late last May. For the months of May and June, it was like an avalanche pushed me off-course and left me there – one thing after another leading me farther down a narrow stretch of back roads.

I’m just now finding my way back to the main road.

Even though I was lost on an unexpected detour, I wasn’t alone. God was there with me, coaching gently from the seat next to me.

As a result of this detour, I’ve experienced a lot of pain, hurt, fear, loneliness and hard times. But I’ve also encountered many compassionate moments, bright spots and love from my inner circle.

I made it through, because I allowed God to share my burdens. To some extent, only God knows how difficult this struggle was and how hard it was for me. I didn’t close myself off from Him – I let God in and He encouraged me to have faith.

Sometimes, I only shared my pain with God. I didn’t have words to tell my friends and family. And sometimes, other people were living their lives, while I struggled just to survive. They don’t see you, or you don’t see them, except every now and then.

But God is always there. He’s never too busy or off in His own bubble. He’s always present, even if it’s just to sit with you and cry.

Let’s be clear. Where I was before this side trip, wasn’t the ideal. Far from it. It was okay. I needed better than okay, and I knew that. I just didn’t know okay had to stop immediately.

It also doesn’t mean that everything now is rosy. It’s just a better place than I was before, and that is something I come to see more and more each day.

I have many exciting things blossoming, and many wonders to share through this blog.

One last thing. If you’re lost on a detour, turn to God.

He’s there. Always. No matter where you are or where you’ve been – God will drive with you whether you’re on-course or off-roading.

Trust God.

If you’re looking for God, stop. What?!? Why?!?

Because God is already there with you. Stop looking for God and find Him.

It’s not hide and seek. Or even rocket science. It’s about faith.

Let’s face it. As humans, we’re skeptical and curious – and all of these are great – but we’re really not all that strong on faith.

So many things in this world tell us that faith isn’t enough – that God isn’t real. This makes us question God and test Him. And God understands this – and puts up with it. He did after all give us the gift of life and free will. We’re not toys to God or chess pieces. He doesn’t orchestrate us. But he’s always there for us to turn to – when we make that choice.

God is a mystery. He can’t be fully explained. He can’t be proven or unproven. He just is. He’s I Am Who Am. He’s God With Us.

Yet, we still ask – just who is that “Am” anyway?

It’s God. The answer’s that simple. And He’s right next to you if you’re looking. Find Him and get to know Him.

He’s waiting for you.

Time is a transient thing.  It slips by quickly unnoticed until days, weeks, months have melted away.

Time in a crisis is even more fleeting.

I find myself starting again in more ways than one.  But isn’t that what life and faith are all about?  A journey of stops and starts, speed bumps and long stretches?

Dream Over

That was the headline for a story on Susan Boyle, the contestant who caught the attention of the world in Britain’s TV talent show – Britain’s Got Talent.  She wasn’t your average – wait, she was your average-looking singer.  She wasn’t this polished, made-up and groomed mega-star like Beyoncé – or whatever she’s calling herself now.

She was a normal person with a God-given talent for singing.  Everyone wrote her off based on her appearance until she started to sing.

Now, I’m a huge reality show fan.  One thing you learn from watching reality TV is that the outer package doesn’t always tell the truth about what’s on the inside.

There’s plenty of great-looking people that I wouldn’t want to be around for one minute.  They need to spend just as much time grooming the inside as they do the outer beauty.

You can’t judge any book by its cover – because you have to ponder the words inside before you know the story.

Just because Susan didn’t win, doesn’t mean her dream is over.  Her dream is using her talent.  And she wants to continue to do just that.  So often nowadays, we must put another down to raise up ourselves.  Susan didn’t win – therefore she lost.  She has no worth.

It’s just not good enough anymore to be talented.  One has to be THE NEXT BIG THING or your dream is over.  It’s not okay to be good and to use your talent in the world.

The pressure that people put on Susan Boyle is unreasonable.  This is an amateur talent contest – she’s not a professional yet.  What about the growth she’s experienced as a singer?

Her voice is extraordinary.  I hope she holds onto that and doesn’t let anyone take away what God gave her – a voice to sing with.

Sing and continue to dream, Susan.  God hears you even when others do not.

God calls us to lead lives of holiness.  Jesus gave the most perfect example with his own life.  But he gave us other examples of holiness in his own mother, the Virgin Mary, and the saints.

Saints are people to whom we can relate, essentially role models for the faithful.  Saints do not forget those of us on Earth.  They follow Jesus’ commandment to “love thy neighbor as thyself” (Matthew 22:39) even after death.  In following this, saints pray intensely for those of us on Earth.  And thank goodness, because we really need it!

While we ask saints for help, it is by God that our prayers are answered.  Saints help us at the request of Jesus and through God’s power.  When you pray to a saint, you’re not worshiping that saint.  You’re asking for the saint to pray for you and ask God to help you.

God is the one acting in our lives, not the saints.  They’re just the messengers showing us the way to reach the Lord.

The etymology (fancy name for where a word comes from) of the word vocation takes it back to the word voice.  I love the idea of that relationship.

My vocation is my voice in the world.  It’s what I’m charged to do every day.  My voice is my vocation.

As a writer, voice is that all-important, yet unexplainable thing that makes great literature.  It’s all about the voice.  No one can slap a real definition on what voice actually IS, but they sure try – sorta like God.

We try to define God, but we really only capture the smallest essence.  That’s part of the evolution of faith – we understand a bit more each day of what God has revealed to us.  But try as we might to define God – God will never be contained by us.

God is so much more than we can imagine.  It’s the greatest mystery of all time.  Keep up the sleuthing and we’ll be rewarded with a glimpse of the truth.

I’m settling into my vocation.  It can be difficult to throw thoughts out there into the world, because it contains my voice – my soul is in everything I do.

So despite my trepidations, I’m sharing my vocation/voice/soul with the world.  Maybe one day, I’ll hear back from you about it.

We get so caught up in the nitty gritty of rules and judgments that we forget.

 It’s not about the rules.

It’s about how you treat people.  It’s about finding that person in the corner and finding out who they are.  It’s walking the talk and how you live each day.  What kind of good did you do today?

You can be the most conscientious follower of religious practices and still not be who God wants you to be.

Don’t get me wrong.  Religion is important, but it’s not for show or the motions.  You’ve got to live it, not just attend it.

Religion is making our path to a relationship with God, as individuals and also community.  Everyday religion requires commitment that less and less people have time for nowadays.

We marginalize people for many reasons – they look different; they act different; they live different; they don’t look, act or live how we want them to live.  We forget that some people are even there.

Open your eyes and see all those around you as God does.  God sees each of us.  He really sees – not just the surface, but deep down into the soul.

If we really look at one another and see, we can make a difference.

I recently read “Unitatis Redintegratio” (fancy Latin name for “Decree on Ecumenism”).  It’s a document from the Roman Catholic Church’s Second Vatican Council (V2).  This was a revolutionary council for its time, and instituted a renewal for the Catholic Church.  This renewal is actually what Jesus wanted – for without such renewal, the Church on earth will not unify all humanity as Jesus himself called his Church to do.  Jesus even prayed for all of us to be unified through him.

Of course, there are many who want to go back to the “old way.”  I’m not one of those.  In fact, I’m a product of the modern Church.  I was born way after all the changes were in place and the V2 changes were the norm.  I’d never heard of V2 before maybe junior high (or perhaps high school Church history)?  And I never cared about it much.  It really had no effect on me until my recent class on V2 .  Once you see where the Church was and where it went as a result of the council (with groundwork laid by previous councils), it’s mind-boggling.  Like OMGee amazing.

Once, I did take my nephews to a Latin Rite Mass.  The reaction?  Not too favorable.  I’m a modern Church girl and I won’t be back.  For me, God wants to be present with us present for him.  He wants participation – a little bit of effort on our part to have a relationship with Him.

Now this renewal doesn’t mean giving into our every human whim.  Let’s face it.  We’re human and we’re weak.  We’re fickle.  One day we love Jesus and the next he’s a burden to earthly social life.

And in case you were wondering, this renewal business for the Church, doesn’t just extend to the Pope and the Magisterium (teaching arm of the Church).  It extends to the every day Catholic.  By living the Catholic life (properly and all that), each Catholic puts a shine on the Church’s renewal.  It deepens your faith, opens your heart to dialogue with others and shows the rest of the world the true face of the Church.

Now if that’s not an OMGee moment, nothing else is.

The gift of life is what God bestowed on us.  He created us to live.  Each time we make a choice that ends this gift, it is a thorn in the temple of the Lord.  We are piercing his heart over and over with our choices.  Respecting God’s gift is a sacred duty that we must uphold.

For Christians, the Christmas holiday is a reminder of this gift of life.  The birth of Jesus in this world was a gift to humanity – an everlasting gift of new life that welcomed us to be brothers and sisters in Christ.

And for Jews, Hanukkah (Chanukkah) is a celebration of the gift of life as well – an everlasting reminder of the miracle of the light and the gift of new life by God in the re-dedication of the Temple in Jerusalem.

Even for Buddhists, Bodhi day is a celebration of the gift of life – the experience of enlightenment for the historical Buddha and the gift of new life in Nirvana.

Faith is like a river, ever flowing towards God.  As the water, we must quench our desire to change course.  To grow faith and strengthen it, we must water the seed within us.

Learning about God and our beliefs is crucial to keeping our faith healthy – without this, it is easy for our faith to fall by the wayside or to leave us when times get tough.  If you open yourself to growing your faith – that strength will stay with you through the darkest of nights.

Remember to see God and learn about him in your daily life.  He is there, not in the obvious, but in the smallest moment.  You must be open to his call.  It makes the darkness bright.